FUNERALS & MEMORIAL SERVICES

 

To schedule a memorial service please contact:

Pastor Kirsten
(201) 664-5904
pk@trinityoldtappan.com

The Burial of the Dead is a service by which we commend a loved one who has died into the blessed rest of God’s eternal peace and affirm our belief that death is never the end to human meaning. At Trinity, we offer companionship and prayer to those whose loved ones have died, helping them to plan a funeral or memorial service that will authentically express their gratitude for their loved one now gone, their grief, and their hope in God’s promise of new life in Christ. 

Inquiry about Funerals / Memorial Services

 

Verification

The Service

The service of the Burial of the Dead comprises scripture readings, prayers, a commendation, and at the burial site if desired, a committal. The service may also include hymns and sung anthems, a homily by the pastor.

The body may or may not be present for the service, depending upon the wishes of the bereaved. When a body is present, the custom of Trinity Reformed Church is for a closed casket covered by a pall, a special liturgical vestment of the church. Instead of a body, the ashes of the deceased may also be present, placed near the Paschal Candle that symbolizes the light of Christ.

Pastor Kirsten will assist you in planning the service, including helping you to decide who will participate. Sometimes family members and loved ones of the deceased desire to offer readings or music, or to serve as pall bearers or ushers; other times, they wish simply to be present in quiet grief. Being candid about your preference will help you in a time of mourning.

Practicalities

Planning Ahead

Preparing for a holy death is a Christian spiritual practice, and Trinity encourages you, as a gift to your loved ones, to make plans for your own burial. We suggest your wishes and plans be put on paper and presented to Pastor Kirsten for safe keeping.

Clergy

For most funerals, Trinity’s Pastor Kirsten will serve as the officiant. If you wish for a pastor from outside the parish to officiate or for other clergy, regardless of faith tradition, to participate in the service, please discuss with Pastor Kirsten first. 

Music

In consultation with the surviving family, the Pastor and Minister of Music plan the music for all funerals and memorial services. Kevin will play for the service or “dj” as needed.  If you want to employ your own musician(s) this needs to be discussed with Kevin up front.  His usual honorarium is appreciated in order to compensate him for the time spent orienting guest musicians. Additional instrumentalists or vocalists, if desired, can also be arranged at an additional cost. Pastor Kirsten will be glad to connect you with Kevin as you prepare for the service.

Audio Visual Presentations

If you would like to use the projector, screen, and sound system in the sanctuary to do an audio video presentation like a montage of pictures highlighting the life of your loved one, you will need to provide a video on DVD or a Powerpoint slide show on a disc or thumb drive that is automatically sequenced and repeated.  We find this is a great addition to the celebration of a person’s life.  

Flowers

Flowers are appropriate on the altar, where they are a symbol of new life. Otherwise, we encourage you to designate a giving opportunity in lieu of flowers sent to the church for people who wish to express their sympathy to you. After the service, flowers should be left to grace altar during parish worship services. This gift will be acknowledged in the Sunday worship bulletins and in the parish prayers.  We would be happy to recommend a local florist. 

Program

If you desire, a program outlining the Order of Service, together with a list of participants, can be prepared. This program will be simple in design and photocopied; Trinity cannot offer printing services.

Receptions

Trinity can accommodate small gatherings with light refreshments in the parish hall downstairs from the sanctuary.  The reception fee covers the space use, any set-up of tables and chairs, and clean-up afterwards. You would be responsible for refreshments, decorations, and tableware, as well as servers and musicians, if desired. 

Fees & Honoraria

Because the church buildings must be maintained throughout the year, Trinity charges fees for use of the church buildings, grounds, and decorations. We also request honoraria for the various professional services surrounding a funeral or memorial service. If the costs present a financial hardship, however, you are welcome to discuss your need with the priest who will officiate at the service. No one will be denied a service because of an inability to pay.

For More About Funerals & Memorial Services