Weddings at Trinity

To inquire about having a wedding at Trinity please contact:

Pastor Kirsten
(201) 664-5904

Offering a simple worship space and parish hall, Trinity is a comfortable and unassuming setting for weddings and receptions.

Trinity extends hospitality to anyone seeking a location for a wedding, regardless of faith tradition or secular beliefs. If you are planning a wedding, you may choose simply to rent the church for a ceremony of your own design, with your own officiant. Or you may decide to request a Christian or interfaith wedding in which our pastor works closely with you to plan a prayerful, meaningful ceremony and who offers you companionship and counseling as you prepare for your marriage.

If you wish to learn more simply about renting the church and/or parish hall for a wedding, please contact Pastor Kirsten. Rental fees will depend on the size and staffing needs of your wedding.

If you seek a Christian or interfaith wedding involving our pastor, please continue reading.

Christian Marriage

Christian (or interfaith) marriage is a covenantal relationship established when two individuals make solemn and public vows to one another in the presence of God and God’s people. By vows of lifelong faithfulness and mutual love, care and respect, the wedding couple becomes a sacrament, that is, “an outward and visible sign,” of God’s steadfast love for creation and of Christ’s mystical union with the Christian Church. Holy Matrimony is, therefore, a gift to the Christian community, and we thank you for considering holding your wedding ceremony here.

The information on this webpage is meant to help you discern whether Trinity is an appropriate setting for your wedding within the Reformed tradition. You will find information about who can be married in the Reformed Church, how to plan for the wedding day, including expectations for your spiritual preparation, and practical considerations such as fees.

The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage is a sacred occasion. We will do all in our power to make your wedding a time of solemnity and great joy. Please know of our prayers for you.

Inquiry about Weddings



What if we were already married in a civil ceremony?

A service of worship recognizing a civil marriage and confirming it in the community of faith may be appropriate when requested by the couple. The service will be similar to the marriage service except that the opening statement, the declaration of intention, the exchange of the vows by the husband and wife, and the public declaration by the minister reflect the fact that the woman and man are already married to one another according to the laws of the state

Before Setting Your Wedding Date

Pre-Marriage Counseling

Couples who wish to marry at Trinity must agree to pre-marriage counseling with the parish clergy or, if distance is a problem, with a pastor or counselor near where they live. The purpose of pre-marriage preparation is twofold: First, a couple can discern whether they are truly called and ready for a lifetime covenantal relationship. Second, the couple will begin to experience the confidential and loving care of the Church as a helpful resource for them in their life together. Pre-marriage counseling usually consists of three to five sessions, sometimes in the companionship of other couples preparing for marriage. Couples are urged, therefore, to arrange to meet with one of the parish clergy well in advance of the anticipated wedding date. We recommend that an initial meeting happen six months prior to the proposed wedding date, after which the wedding will be scheduled. $75 per session (3-5), $50 assessment tool.

Ceremony Practicalities

Every wedding performed at Trinity is a public worship service. Although a couple may choose to invite only certain guests to a wedding reception, all members of the Christian community are welcome to attend the wedding ceremony. Guests offer witness of the marriage vows and, in the Reformed liturgy, a pledge to support the couple in their marriage.

A wedding ceremony can be as simple or as elaborate as a couple wishes. More ornate ceremonies do require greater planning. To help you begin to fashion a wedding ceremony, here are some guidelines:

The Ceremony

The service consists of a declaration of consent, readings, vows, pronouncement, prayers, and the solemn blessing.  Couples may fashion their own vows.


For most weddings at Trinity the pastor will serve as the officiant. If you wish for another pastor from outside the parish to officiate or for other clergy, regardless of faith tradition, to participate in the ceremony, you must speak first with Pastor Kirsten.

Wedding Program

If you desire, a wedding program outlining the Order of Service, together with a list of participants  This program will be simple in design and photocopied; Holy Trinity cannot offer printing services. If you prefer to have a program produced at a commercial printer, we can show you samples from previous weddings. A draft of the program should be approved by the pastor. The deadline for submitting materials is three weeks prior to the date of the ceremony.

Audio Visual Presentations

If you would like to use the projector, screen, and sound system in the sanctuary to do an audio video presentation like a montage of pictures highlighting moments in a couple’s relationship leading up to marriage, you will need to provide a video on DVD or a Powerpoint slide show on a disc or thumb drive that is automatically sequenced and repeated. The deadline for submitting materials is three weeks prior to the date of the ceremony.


Photographs and/or videos are allowed to be taken during the service but with respect to the religious ceremony.  We ask that you let your photographer(s) know to be in “stealth mode”.  Interruptions in the service for photographs is not an option.

The wedding party may arrange to have photographs taken immediately after the ceremony. The clergy will be delighted to re-create moments in the ceremony for the purpose of photographs.

The photographer and/or videographer engaged for a wedding must contact the the pastor, in person or by telephone, at least one week prior to the wedding date and must complete a registration form to be kept on file in the church office.


You may arrange to have flowers placed on the Altar, as a symbol of new life.  We would be happy to recommend a local florist although you may use a florist of your choosing. After the ceremony, flowers should be left to grace the Altar during parish worship services. This gift will be acknowledged in the Sunday worship bulletins and in the parish prayers. If you do wish to use your own florist, please speak with Pastor Kirsten for direction.


In order to be good environmental stewards, Trinity must prohibit rice or confetti in the buildings or on the grounds. Couples who wish for guests to shower them with symbols of their good wishes may arrange for grass seed, flower petals, or bubbles to be showered once the wedding party is outside of the church buildings.

Wedding Coordinator

Some couples may wish to hire a wedding coordinator or planner to attend to the practical details in preparing for the wedding. On the day of the ceremony, the wedding coordinator may assist the wedding party leading up to the start of the ceremony, which for most weddings is the musical prelude. The officiant orchestrates the ceremony itself. The wedding coordinator must contact the pastor, in person or by telephone, at least one month prior to the wedding date, and must complete a registration form to be kept on file in the church office.

Marriage License

A Church wedding must conform to the laws of New Jersey, which require couples to have a New Jersey marriage license. You must apply for a license together in person at an office of the City Clerk of Old Tappan.  A marriage license is valid for thirty days. To download forms, visit Old Tappan’s website or pick up in person at Borough Hall 227 Old Tappan Rd. Old Tappan, NJ 07675.

Wedding Rehearsal

We recommend that the principal participants in the wedding ceremony attend a rehearsal on the day before the date of the wedding. Please remember to schedule the wedding rehearsal at the same time you schedule the wedding itself, in order to ensure that the sanctuary will be available. Please bring the marriage license to the wedding rehearsal, so that you will have one less detail to worry about on your wedding day.

Wedding Reception

While we do have a parish hall we recommend that you have a receptiion at a local restaurant with a hall.  We’d be happy to make recommendations.

Fees & Honoraria

Because the church buildings must be maintained throughout the year, Holy Trinity charges fees for use of the buildings, grounds, and decorations. We also request honoraria for the various professional services surrounding a wedding. If the costs present a financial hardship, however, you are welcome to discuss your need with the pastor who will perform your wedding. No one will be denied the sacrament of marriage because of an inability to pay.

To obtain a schedule of suggested fees and honoraria, please contact Pastor Kirsten.

Scheduling the Wedding

If you would like to hold your wedding ceremony at Trinity please contact Pastor Kirsten at or (201) 664-5904.

To download Trinity’s forms for building use, click here.

For More About Weddings